This Saturday, one of my dear friends was recognized as a Remarkable Mom. But the story of how she got there is a story of tragedy and heartbreak and friendship. Real, messy, tears-in-your-coffee friendship. It’s the kind of unbreakable bond you don’t mess around with. It’s our Mamafia.

In a recent Huffington Post story, The Momfia of Motherhood, the author describes a different kind of mom-mafia, one of mean girls and petty gossip. While I’m sure these are out there, I’d like to challenge that picture of the modern mom group.

 

Motherhood and Friendship

We all met when our kids were teeny. Some of us had been friends before; some of us met in a mommy-and-me class at our local park. None of us wanted to pay to join a playgroup that artificially put people together based on the age of the kids and where you live. But we were all seeking friendship and support and other moms who understood this crazy adventure we had all just embarked upon when we gave birth to our little bundles. Bundles of spit, bundles of poop, bundles of huge baby bags, and amid the exhaustion and constant self-doubt, little bundles of joy. We needed each other.

We slowly got to know each other, and we each found a little comfort in knowing that once a week, we could see other grown ups, eat real food and know we weren’t alone in facing the challenges and wins of motherhood. We’re all quite different in many ways, but we found common ground in our kids and made a connection. It was probably a pretty average playgroup. Then things got real. Fast.

 

A Mom in Need

While watching the kids play at the park, our friend, Amy, said her husband hadn’t been feeling well and she finally got him to go to the doctor. That doctor’s appointment led to another, and –  BAM! – they were hit in the gut with a cancer diagnosis.

Her young, 30-something life changed in an instant. Amy now had a 2-year-old daughter and a sick husband to care for. The rest of us, with little ones and families of our own, did the only thing we knew how to do. We rallied. We organized meals for her, watched her daughter when needed, and tried to be the “normal” in her life.

When treatments and therapies got expensive, some of the more enterprising mamas in our group planned fundraisers at the local movie theater, and we had a massive garage sale to help pay for the mounting medical bills. When her daughter turned 3, we threw her a birthday party – because those are the things you can’t do when you’re in the middle of cancer.

And when Jim finally passed, we were there. We surrounded her with as much love and support as we could, and, while physically surrounding her in a circle of friendship, a family member remarked that we were like her own personal mafia – there to protect her and fend off anything and anyone who dared to get in her space or challenge her fragile state of mind at that vulnerable moment. The Mamafia was born. Not the savage, stab-you-in-the-back version of mom-mafia, but the force-to-be-reckoned-with kind.

 

The Most Remarkable Friendship

Four years have passed since then, and we’ve stood together as our mama friends have moved, had babies, lost parents, struggled with illness and gone through divorce. Our kids attend different schools now, but we’ve only grown closer. We challenge each other and support one another. We protect the tribe. We take care of the family we’ve created. We’re there for each other.

Four years since Amy lost Jim, and now we have a reason to celebrate. As she and her daughter re-built their world after her husband died, they turned to a wonderful grief support group in town. Amy, a talented photographer, realized that as she was being helped through her grief and loss, she could help other families like hers. Now, she volunteers to take photographs of families who have a parent with cancer or another serious medical condition. She snaps photos of the good times so they’ll always have happy memories to look back on. She presents each family with a custom album filled with playful, loving smiles, capturing life and love, focusing on moments to cherish in the midst of their heartache and sorrow.

This beautiful organization formally recognized Amy as a Remarkable Mom this weekend, but we already knew that. As her mamafia, with mama ties that bind us, we couldn’t be more proud to help honor her at this celebration. With yellow flowers in our hair and red lip tattoos as our mamafia uniform, we were there by her side. And through whatever life throws at any of us, good or bad, I know these mamas will stick together. That’s how friendship is done.

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Does the idea of making homemade butter conjure up images, like the one above, of hours of backbreaking work using some sort of old-fashioned butter churn?

Fear not, good readers! Making butter at home is much easier than I could have ever imagined. You’ll only need two ingredients and about 10-15 minutes in the kitchen.

Here’s How You Do It

I followed the simple directions (and sound advice) from Montana Homesteader, but there are a ton of ideas and tutorials available online. Search Pinterest for “homemade butter” and you’ll see what I mean.

I chose the food processor method, and it couldn’t be simpler.

Step 1: Get out your food processor

Step 2: Pour in heavy cream (I used 1 pint, but use any quantity you like)

Step 3: Turn on food processor & let it go!

 

You’ll see your cream go from liquid to fluffy whipped cream. (I was tempted to stop there to satisfy my desert cravings, but alas, I forged on.) Then it will start to break up and you’ll start to see solid pieces form. Keep going! In about 10 minutes (from start to finish), you’ll have a blob of creamy, homemade butter!

 

Just a few more steps!

Once your blob has formed, carefully drain the butter in a fine mesh strainer over a bowl. The bowl is important because you want to capture all the rich, delectable liquid that separated from the butter. What is this treasure? Buttermilk!

So drain the butter over a bowl, capture all the buttermilk, and set that aside for making delicious baked goods (think bread or waffles or pancakes).

Once you’ve drained the butter, return it to the food processor with a cup of cold water. Whir the processor to “rinse” the butter. Drain again – this time you can just drain over the sink since the buttermilk has already been captured. Repeat this process until the water remains clear. Mine took 3 rinses.

After you’re done rinsing, turn the butter into a bowl and add a little salt. Since you’re using fresh cream, adding the salt will help preserve your perishable butter so it keeps longer in the fridge. Stir to blend the salt completely through the butter, drain off any remaining liquid and you’re done!

You can also add herbs or honey to flavor your butter at this point, but I kept it simple. Pop the butter in the fridge to set up. Take it out before serving to let it soften up a little. This will ensure it’s nice and spreadable.

It’s creamy, rich, tasty, and oh so simple to make!

I whipped up a loaf of super simple Irish Soda Bread to serve alongside my homemade butter. If you’ve never made bread, this one is easy enough for anyone to make. There’s no rising time and hardly any kneading, and I was able to use the buttermilk I saved from the first strain. It’s rustic and homey with a nice crust and soft middle, and from beginning to end, it only takes 30 minutes to make. Here’s the recipe if you want to try a loaf!

Trust me when I tell you that this is easy enough for a weekday, but fancy enough for a special occasion. What could be better than that?

You know you want to try making your own homemade butter now, don’t you? Go ahead & give it a try. Then come back & tell me how it went – I’d love to hear from you!

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May is Asian Pacific American Heritage Month, and while I hate to only think about or talk about my Asian American heritage during one month of the year, it does present an opportunity to share a small piece of my history with you.

Chinese Americans

I’m either a first or second generation Chinese American, depending on how you look at it. Here’s the short story of what that means.

My mom’s mom was born here in the United States, but then went to China after she got married. By the time she came back, with several kids in tow, the US had already enacted the 1924 Immigration Act, barring immigration and denying citizenship to all Asians. So her birthright US citizenship was taken away and she wasn’t allowed to come home without a fight.

Eventually, and with the help of some influential people, my grandmother was allowed back on US soil and she settled down in California, and eventually, my grandfather and my aunts back in China came, too, and the whole family was together again.

Writer, Teacher, Collector

My grandma was a teacher and ahead of her time. Born in 1899, she not only was the first Chinese woman to attend Oberlin College in Ohio, but she was one of only a few women with professional careers during that time. She taught middle school science along with English literature and grammar. In 1979, she won an essay contest for her story about fleeing the 1906 San Francisco earthquake, and she was always willing to share her stories with others.

Listen to my grandma tell her story about fleeing the fires after the 1906 San Francisco earthquake.

She also collected things. Lots of things. Perhaps it was because she lived through many wars and hard times when you never knew if you’d ever be able to get something again. Perhaps it was her way of preserving her memories.

When she passed away, my mom and my aunts tackled the piles in her house as best they could, but it wasn’t easy. We were all enlisted to help, and on one of my cleaning missions to her house, I found this photo album. My mom and my aunts were only too happy to have me keep it since it meant that it would be one more thing out of the way.

Snapshots from the past

That photo album held more than just pictures. The pictures told a story of China’s history and my family’s connection to it. My mom and my aunt’s think it belonged to one of my grandma’s older sisters, Mancy, who grew up here in the United States, but took these pictures after living for a time in Nanking, China. So, are these an early glimpse of a Chinese American woman getting in touch with her heritage?

Whatever they are, they’re beautiful, carefully arranged, and they were thoughtfully & poetically captioned, in handwriting very much like my grandma’s. I treasure them for the link they provide me with my own history and how they tell a different story of China than the one we hear in the media these days.

Here are a few of my favorites …

 

The next few photos capture the Ming Tombs – burial ground to 13 of the 16 Ming Dynasty emperors. Now a huge tourist site, the album shows what it was like before the tombs were restored and readied for visitors – when the land had all but reclaimed the emperors and their final resting place. Compare these to what tourists see now here and here.

 

There are so many more cherished photos in this album. Too many to share without losing some of the magic. But they’re part of my story – a glimpse into the past and a China that has been lost to more modern landscapes and images. With the rise of the communist-capitalist machine, my parents’ era – and their parents’ and our ancestors’ for generations past – has been largely overshadowed and forgotten by those of us in America. That’s why I hope I’ll always have these snapshots to treasure and pass on to future generations. They remind me of what my heritage is. It’s not the ruthless and deceptive China that we hear about on the news. Rather it is a rich culture, full of personal, human stories of struggle and hardship and tradition and wonder.

Do you have glimpses of your past hidden somewhere? What can you share to honor your heritage? I’d love to hear or see your stories!

 

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Can a chocolate cake tell a story? Can any recipe? I think food can tell a lot about someone. We whisk together good times, lovingly stir tradition into our favorite dishes and mix up quick and delicious meals on busy weeknights. Food speaks to me and tells me things about myself and my family and friends that help us all grow together – hopefully not too much around the middle, but more in the sense of connection and shared experiences.

A Little Story

My friend, Sara, shared this recipe on Facebook a while ago. We met years ago while we were training to be volunteer naturalists for the Tucson Audubon Society. A few of us from the class would get together to hike and enjoy the birds and wildlife around us. Those were good times!

But then life started to get busy. My job changed, I moved to the other side of town, eventually stopped volunteering, and I lost touch with my naturalist friends. Thankfully, I’ve found them again on Facebook! For all its faults, Facebook IS great for reconnecting with friends.

So Sara shared this recipe for a cake that her mom used to make. And although it was just a post about cake, it was clear that it was so much more. It was a post about memories and family and relationships and love. That simple post told a story and it meant something important to my friend.

Not Just a Chocolate Cake

Last week was super busy, and if you read my post about it, you know that we also had a guest visiting from out-of-town. I wanted to do something nice to welcome him, but it had to be ultra simple, so I found the recipe from Sara to see if this cake would fit the bill. I had all the ingredients in the panty and it didn’t require anything more than the pan, so I made the cake.

It’s super simple to make, and boy is it delicious! My son wanted to decorate, so we melted some chocolate chips, added a little half and half to thin it out to a nice consistency, then drizzled it over the top. Well, he got impatient with drizzling, so he did more of a slather. Then he sprinkled every color of sprinkles we had over the top, and the result was a beautifully messy chocolate cake that you could tell was made with love.

The cake, itself, has a rich chocolate flavor, but it’s not too sweet. It’s moist with the perfect texture that’s not too dense but perfectly bouncy. Sara’s mom used to call it “snack cake” and it does seem perfectly suited to snack on – not too fancy, not too heavy, but deliciously satisfying and easy enough for any day, no matter how busy.

More importantly, it’s a piece of Sara’s mom that she has graciously allowed me to share. In her words, “sharing that recipe is an awesome way for me to keep my mom’s sweet and giving nature alive!” I didn’t know Sara’s mom, but I have to agree. This cake oozes love and generosity and simple, sweet goodness. And if Sara’s mom was anything like Sara, I’m sure the cake is an accurate reflection of her.

Enough Storytelling, I Want Cake!

As I said, the recipe is super simple. All it takes is a 9″ x 9″ cake pan, but if you want to make it in a bundt pan, like I did, you’ll want to double the recipe. Mix it up right in the pan, or mix it in a bowl and pour the batter in. Then pop it in the oven and enjoy! And to help you connect with Sara and her mom, here’s the handwritten recipe – because nothing can make you feel closer to the cook than the handwritten notes that come with perfecting a recipe over time. (The printable version is also provided below.)

Is this a recipe you would enjoy? Let me know if you try it. I’d love to let Sara know that her mom’s legacy lives on!

 

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In case you don’t know, I live in lovely Tucson, Arizona and life keeps me busy enough that it’s a rare treat to get to enjoy a fabulous meal at a hip restaurant. But my sister came to town! Well, not exactly to town, but she came to Arizona, so I made the 2 hour drive up to Phoenix to have dinner with her. Boy am I glad I did!

Her meeting was in Scottsdale, the trendy, upscale suburb of our beloved state capitol, and we didn’t have much time, so we wanted to eat somewhere close to her hotel. My 7-year-old was with us, so I was looking forward to a low-key, family-friendly, average-weeknight meal. But I told my sister that if she had the chance to eat at FnB while she was here, she should definitely do it. My friends and I had experienced one of the best meals of our lives there last summer, and I knew it would be right up her alley.

As we started walking around looking for a restaurant, we stumbled across FnB’s front door. Literally. Not knowing my way around too well, we just started walking, and there it was. My sister stopped to check out the menu while my son threw coins in the fountain nearby. She was hooked.

Let me say this upfront. I do NOT recommend this restaurant for the average 7-year-old. The food is sophisticated and a bit mysterious even for adults. But Mary, the host/restauranteur/manger/whatever she was, was wonderful! She picked up my sister’s vibe that she was interested and she catered to our every need. It just so happened that the restaurant had hosted a local philanthropic group meeting the night before, and they happened to have some yummy macaroni and cheese in the refrigerator. It wasn’t on the menu, but it was available to make my kid happy, and it turned two reluctant diners into enthusiastic patrons that night.

The menu here is intriguing and fun and a little bit confusing, but if you put your trust in the amazing chef at FnB, you won’t be sorry. The food is made with the freshest ingredients, most locally sourced, in combinations you didn’t even know were possible. But it works. And it works well.

The best way to eat here is to order a lot of different things and share them. That way, everyone can taste everything and nobody will go home missing out on the spectacular culinary experience that this establishment provides.

We started with the sweet pea falafel with Meyer lemon tahini and mint and the sumac roasted tomatoes with i’itoi onion quark and dukka. I have absolutely no idea what most of that is, but I know that it was absolutely delicious. The falafel didn’t look overly impressive, but once in your mouth, it bursted with flavor. Delicate and complex and utterly divine.

The roasted tomatoes came with grilled bread and were nestled in a cushion of soft, rich goat cheese. The best way to eat these was to scoop up a portion of tomato & cheese, making sure to keep the spice and onion mixture on top intact, and put it on a piece of bread to eat it like a bruschetta. The result is best described as a happy explosion of flavor in your mouth. Roasting the tomatoes with the sumac brings out a smoky richness that you wouldn’t otherwise get. The goat cheese provides a creamy coolness that balances the tomatoes beautifully. Put it all together, and you’ll wonder why you never thought of this at home. Although I don’t know if you could create this at home. You’ll have to come back to FnB.

Next came the heirloom cauliflower adobo with spring onion vinegar salsa and the California black bass with green beans, jicama, chermoula and spring dug turnips. I love cauliflower, and this dish made me love it even more. The tender florets were cooked to perfection in adobo with a savory, tart salsa on top. Again, the flavor combination in this one dish were nothing short of amazing. It was bright and fresh and at the same time rich and complex. I couldn’t get enough.

The fish came with much more than green beans, jicama and turnips. It was layered with juicy grapefruit and orange wedges, turnip and/or radish sprouts and the perfect blend of seasonings. Each bite brought a different taste of elegant flavors, and it was hearty and satisfying without being heavy or overdone.

Finally, we ordered the board of super fresh ricotta, drizzled with honey alongside a dried fruit marmalade, grilled nut bread, fruit and nuts. Our thought was we could have a few bites of these sweet morsels and skip dessert, but we couldn’t wait until the end to enjoy this array of treats. Again, the ricotta was best served spread on the nut bread and topped with the marmalade. The marmalade was slightly spicy which complemented the sweet, rich ricotta nicely. I added a few of the spiced nuts on top as well, and it was fabulous. My son was happy to eat the apples, and I wasn’t about to complain about him eating fruit, so we made the sacrifice and let him enjoy them.

We were happily stuffed by the time we finished, and there were leftovers of everything except the falafel. The food is just as good as leftovers as it is fresh, and trust me when I say I thoroughly enjoyed this meal for days!

My sister loved FnB so much that she returned a few days later, at the end of her stay in Arizona. She was happy to report that the lamb riblets with sherry vinegar, honey, aleppo, coriander and wheatberries were so tender they melted in her mouth, and she enjoyed a fresh made panna cotta and grapefruit cake for dessert.

If you find yourself in Scottsdale, AZ for any reason, don’t hesitate to enjoy a meal at FnB. Make a reservation, bring your friends, and make it a shared adventure! Your tastebuds will come alive in ways you can only imagine, and it will be a truly memorable dining experience.

(**Note: I wish the photos had come out a little better, but the lighting in the restaurant wasn’t ideal. While these may not make you want to lick your screen, I hope you can see at least a smidgen of the goodness!**)

Have you enjoyed a meal at FnB? What did YOU think of it?

 

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To say this has been a busy week is an understatement. Unfortunately, this lovely blog hasn’t gotten the attention it needs. Well, sort of.  I’ve actually put together a scrumptious post about an out-of-this-world restaurant {yay!}, but I’m having trouble getting the pictures to load {boo!}, so it’s on hold for now. Hopefully you’ll see that one soon.

I’ve also been writing up a storm. I’ve branched out a little and you can now see some of my stuff in other places.

Staying Busy with MapQuest’s Parachute

In honor of Earth Day (today), I had a simple piece published on Parachute, MapQuest’s online travel magazine. You can read about how to celebrate Earth Day in Tucson here. The stories I write for Parachute usually highlight fun things to do in Tucson from various different angles. If you’re interested, click to find my other Parachute stories. And I hope, by the time you get to their site, my latest submission will also be published. They’re definitely keeping me busy, as I’ve got another story in the works for them.

Discovering Medium

Do you blog? Are you a writer? Even sometimes? Then get yourself over to Medium, and check it out. Medium offers a free platform where anyone can write. Post a blog post (even one you’ve already published), respond to stories you read, and follow publications, topics and people that interest you. What I love about Medium is that at the top of every story, it tells you how long it will take to read it. You can pick and choose what you read by the time you have, and if something really catches your eye and it’s longer than you have, you know you can always come back to it. It’s perfect for busy people! It’s also a clean platform, free of ads, which makes it a really nice reading experience.

One of my favorite places to read on Medium right now is the publication, The Coffeelicious. The editors note on their About page says,

Home to some of the best stories on medium. Look around, relax and enjoy one with a sip of coffee.

It’s like having your favorite magazine come to life on your computer screen. I love it so much, I decided to submit something I wrote for publication in The Coffeelicious, and they accepted it! It’s a personal piece that doesn’t quite fit on the blog, so I’m glad to have found it a home. And, it’s getting good feedback, which is good for my delicate writer’s ego. Read it here. I’m going to get busy writing more for The Coffeelicious and taking advantage of Medium’s platform and audience, so look for more in the future.

Keeping up with Life

So beyond lots of writing in other places, my family has kept me busy this week. The pets have created more work than usual for me with my particular favorite being the lake of cooking oil that greeted me Wednesday morning after taking my kids to school. Apparently the dog decided to open the door to the secondary pantry, somehow unscrew the lid to the 3 liter jug of canola oil and knock it over. Seriously, the doors were closed, and the lid was on when I left for school. Then the doors were open and the lid was removed from the jug, with no damage to it! Either we have a gremlin or my dog is smarter than I give him credit for.

Anyway, it was probably about a 3 ft x 5 ft area of the floor that was completely covered in oil. Painstakingly cleaned that up, then the dog started throwing up, apparently from consuming some of the oil and turning his insides into a slippery tummy ache. (If anyone has any tips on how to get copious amounts of oil out of cushions, please let me know!) The good news … the dog seems fine. The bad news … the clean-up still continues since getting grease out of anything requires constant vigilance and lots of repetition.

Meanwhile, my husband is away with our oldest and an out-of-town friend. So, I’ve also been flying solo as I’ve handled our home-grown Exxon Valdez oil spill, plus I fielded the electrician appointment, a trip to the vet and our ever-diligent, yet slightly annoying pool guy’s weekly need for human contact. All this and the normal weekly tasks of making sure everyone is fed, clothed and off to school on time. I even squeezed in some girl time with friends, which was lovely! Only one brief lapse in grace, when I lost it with my 7-year-old, makes me think I’m actually doing okay this week. Thankfully, the grandparents’ weekly school pick-up has been a great help.

So, it’s finally Friday. I’m seriously proud of the work I’ve done that has been published by someone other than me, and I promise, to the best of my ability, that I will post some great stuff on the blog next week. But it’s been a crazy – full moon kind of crazy – busy week. And since my in-laws are picking the kids up from school today, I’m off to clean the toilets, un-earth the kitchen counter and make the house presentable before my husband returns home with a house guest for the rest of the weekend. Wish me luck!

Have you had weeks like this? Please comment let me know I’m not alone! And share with others so they know they’re not alone either!

 

 

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